An Exploration of Eden

Yeah I’m actually capable of being pissed, you fucking piece of shit planet.

First off let me just say that I try /really/ hard to be as nice, and accommodating as I am. Sure I make a dirty joke once in a while, or uncomfortably, half-jokingly hit on someone, but in general I think I’m a pretty nice dude. I’m cuddly, I’m always around to talk, I’m generous, and all that jazz. I feel the need to be over the top nice because, honestly, I feel like if I didn’t be over the top nice, I follow my tendency to be a two faced lying asshole. Anyway here’s some more ranting, and none of it will make sense as a whole, but here’s the break down; I don’t like lying, I don’t like being used, and I don’t like comforting people (because I get scary mad irl, so I try to just ignore it).

To begin this rant let me just say that I’m seriously considering changing my image. After all who the fuck wants to date a fat, loud, doormat? No one. People may want to come in, wipe their feet, chill for a bit, but it’s fuck you I’m going for the hotter guy as soon I get the self confidence boost from dating your sorry ass. As I am now I’m just a fucking stepping stone for your sorry as on your way to dating that one cute guy you’ve had your eye on, and you know what? Fuck that. To make matter worse after my fucking stepping stone function I’m all like ‘what the ever man we can be buds’. Which is just great, right? Friends are great. Except not at fucking all because being friends means I have to listen to you swoon over your new fucking boy as you take stalker pictures of his ass. So that’s Rant Level 1: “How I Hate Being Nice Because All You Bitches Are Bitches, So You Better Not Expect Me to Listen to Your Shit Anymore”

Rant Level 2 is “Just Fucking Tell Me You Used My Ass for A Quick Pick-Me-Up, and That You Want to Drop Me Like a Bag of Rocks”. As I’m sure you can deduce, this section deals with the “I don’t like lying” bit. This is a pretty common lie, too. A girl gets a nice chump. The Chump gets excited about a couple dates, and maybe gets a hand under the shirt or whatever. Then the Girl decides she’s done with the Chump, and ready to back into her league of men. So what does the Girl do with her delightful, fat, teddybear-esque Chump? Well I’ll tell you, she figures out a way to make him seem like the asshole, and then goes on her marry fucking way. This is pretty easy, because us chumps feel guilty just for taking up space on God’s green. The Girl may say that you went to fast, or to slow, or whatever. Barring the success of any of those methods the Girl may simple decide to break down an cry, and complain to her friends about how broken up she is about the whole affair (despite the Girl being the one to actually end it). For me the Girl played the latter tactic, with a dash of crying, and the old fashion ‘it’s not me it’s you’ and ‘I’m just not ready to date’. Lies as old as fucking time. You make ask me; Waab how on earth do you know that this poor girl was lying? Well, as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, you illiterate, hypothetical motherfucker, this Girl decides it’s just a peachy idea to reveal her fucking bullshit by waving around her fancy new chump around in front of me. 

Well kids that’s almost it, and in case you’ve read this far and haven’t figured it out yet; I’m talking to you Delia, you backstabbing, melodramatic, annoying, invalid. You think that you can do whatever you want to me? Use me however you like? Well you’re wrong. I was finally getting over my hang ups about dating, and you pull this stupid, deceitful, tactless bullshit? I’m done with this charade of compassion, I’m done not being pissed about bullshit like this,  and I absolutely am done with your fucking going on and on about Gareth. Good luck with your rom-com fueled bullshit, you childish bitch.